You've just broken up with someone. The next time they clap eyes on you, you want to make sure you're looking beguiling, am I right?

Peter Andre turned up to present Here Comes The Boys last night (I dunno, some sh*t involving The Chippendales. Yep, they're still shaking their bones), in a simple jeans and t-shirt combo. You know, he looks grand, he even pulls off the V neck look which is difficult. Anyway, he did a fine job.

Meanwhile, across town, Katie Price is also making her official post-breakup debut, showcasing "her" KP Equestrian fashion line at The Clothes Show, London. Now, usually the word equestrian denotes some horse related activity. Bear that in mind when ogling the gallery.

Exhibit A: Right, this makes sense. Kind of. Well, the wellies make sense and, you know, the shorts do too - if it's a hot day and you'd rather horse skitter splattered against your naked flesh when mucking out the stable as opposed to on your velour trackie bottoms. As for the dude she's with; I'm not sure where he's off to in that get up. Neither does he by the looks of things.

Exhibit B: OK, now this bears little affinity with horses (is it customary for beauty queens to ride around on horses?) Anyway, she obviously wants to remind Peter of what he's missing... a very boney side of smoked bacon? Honestly, bikini bottoms are never meant to be baggy.

Exhibit C: Dooo do doodle do di do do doo doooo... bring out the DISCO clowns! Be warned, kiddies, any horse who came in contact with this vision coming towards them would be spooked to f***. So, in the event you attempt to replicate "Rockstar Barbie" the next time you go horse riding, expect two hoofs in the face.

And if you thought an equestrian themed fashion show couldn't get more off topic... *stares agog at screen*. No wonder she started spending all her time with the horsey set.