I should really be typing up a recap of last night's Apprentice, but A) I can't face it, and B) I thought "Why not squeeze in an awards gallery. Oooh looky it's a soap one, that'll be good for a laugh." Half way through constructing said gallery I was proved wrong.

The guest list willing to be photographed largely comprised of the desperate. No one of legacy turned up (apart from Emmerdale's Laurel, which is saying summat), or at least made themselves known to photographers. Therefore the attendees could be grouped into the following categories.

The New (and therefore getting themselves out there):
Holly Quin-Ankrah (Corrie's Cheryl)
Tameka Empson (resident EastEnd jiggle monster, Kim)
Kylie Babbington (EastEnders' resident meerkat, Jodie, in the drabest outfit going)
Kirsty Leigh-Porter (Emmerdale's Holly Barton's fairweather friend, Roz, who's dating Emmerdale's Aaron in real life. Nope, he's not really gay)
Zoe Lucker (EastEnders' reseident fembot, Vanessa)
Natalie Anderson (Leyla's gobby, baby comandeering sister in Emmerdale)
Bunmi Mojekwu (EastEnders' resident bible basher, Mercy)
Paula Lane (Corrie's Kylie Turner)

The Newish / Sporadic (and therefore such frivolities are still a novelty):
Patti Clare (Corrie's Mary)
Shona McGarty (Eastenders' Whitney)
Keet Duffy (Corrie's Ciaran)
Chris Bisson (Emmerdale's Jai)
Rik Makarem (Emmerdale's Nikhil)
Shoba Gulati (Corrie's Sunita)
Debbie Rush (Corrie's Anna Windass. And doesn't she scrub up well?)
Steve Huison (Corrie's Eddie Windass... not so much)
Neil McDermott (EastEnders' Ryan)
Katy Cavanagh (Corrie's Julie... doing nothing to dispel the line blurring between actor and character)
Ben Thompson (Corrie's Ryan. Also answers to Munster, Eddie)
Nina Wadia (EastEnders' Zainab)
Charlie Hawkins and Himesh Patel (EastEnders' Darren and Tamwar, without the glasses)
John Patridge and Marc Elliot (EastEnders' couple of the year)

The Recently (and not so recently) Departed (and therefore milking it):
Rachel Leskovac (Corrie's Natasha)
Sian Reeves (Emmerdale's Sally)
Angela Griffin (various)

The Hollyoakers (nuff said):
Bronagh Waugh (Or, as I like to call her, 'Woaw PutItAway!'. She plays Cheryl)
Carley Stenson (Steph Cunningham)
Kieron 'Dancing On Ice' Richardson (Steven Ste'Hay)
Loui Batley (Sarah Barnes)

The Rest:
Sarah Manners (The Bill)
Charlie Clemmow (Doctors)
Sam Clark (Neighbours)
Donnaleigh Bailey (Doctors)
Selina Chilton and David Sturzaker (Doctors)
 

And then there were those who won awards:
Best Actor
Danny Miller (Aaron Livesy, Emmerdale)
Best Actress
Lacey Turner (again, Stacey Branning, EastEnders)
Sexiest Male
Scott Maslen (again, Jack Branning, EastEnders)
Sexiest Female
Michelle Keegan (again, Tina McIntyre, Coronation Street)
Best Young Actor

Alex Bain (Simon Barlow, Coronation Street. Even he didn't turn up)
Best Newcomer
Ricky Norwood (Arthur ‘Fatboy’ Chubb, EastEnders. I vehemently disagree)
Funniest Performance
Craig Gazey (Graeme Proctor, Corrie)
Best Drama
Waterloo Road
Best Wedding
Syed Masood & Amira Shah (EastEnders)
Best Exit
Charlie Clements (Bradley Branning, EastEnders)
Best Stunt
The Factory Siege, Fire and Explosion (Corrie)
Best Dramatic Performance
Danny Miller: Aaron admits the truth about his sexuality to Paddy (Emmerdale)
Best Daytime Soap
Neighbours
Best Daytime Star
Ryan Moloney (Jarrod ‘Toadie’ Rebecchi, Neighbours)