It's bound to happen when you're thrown together and have to pretend to be best mates for an indefinite period of time. We always thought if any beef occurred that Harry would be at its epicenter, what with him being Planet Haircut which the remaining four attempt to orbit. We were wrong. Turns out Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson kind of hated each other when the band were honed during X Factor.

In short, Louis didn't like Liam 'cause he could string a sentence together in public, and frowned upon anyone acting the maggot: "We used to be at each other’s throats while we were on The X Factor. He took it so, so seriously. But whenever I wanted to do anything slightly mischievous, he was always the daddy. That’s why he go the nick name Daddy Directioner."

Over to you, DD: "The funniest thing now is that me and Louis did not get on at all. We were two completely different characters. He was loud and bubbly, and there was one point where I literally wanted to whack him.”

Come lie on my couch, boys. It's both because you secretly want to be more like each other. In other words, you sort of love each other. Now kiss.

For more tales about how One Direction's in house relationships are just as fraught as those in Oasis, you need to buy their This Is Us... DVD for Christmas.