All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That the police report for Michael Lohan's most recent arrest goes something like this: "I saw a subject on the second floor hiding behind a pillar. I yelled the def’s name and told him to come down and talk. This def tried concealing himself a little more but decided to run up a stairwell as we approached him. As we went out to the balcony to look around, we saw the def fall from a 3rd floor balcony next to the one we were standing on. The def apparently leaped up from his balcony and grabbed a hold of the roof. He then must have scurried across the roof (about 30 feet) until he thought he was hanging over top of the next balcony. The def then let go but missed this balcony. He came crashing down on top of wooden high chairs that were laying on the ground. This fall was 34 feet (measured with laser). The def then hid in some trees directly below where he was apprehended"... Kate Major is being kicked out of her "swanky Florida condo" thanks to Michael's antics: "Sources tell TMZ, Kate currently lives in an exclusive housing complex in Tampa - home to several rich and famous people, including pro athletes. After Michael's recent arrests, we're told the entire complex has been swarming with photogs - and the negative media attention is ruffling some high-profile feathers"... That Lindsay Lohan has been offered another $1m for her, and there is no better way of saying this, bits: "The honchos from an adult entertainment company called FleshLight have fired over a letter to Lohan’s reps...hoping to seal a deal with the actress which would allow the company to take a mold of LiLo’s lady parts to produce 'authentic' Lindsay Lohan sex toys". Her reps said: "She would never accept such an offer for any amount of money"... Watch that space...

MORE RUMOURS...