Russell Brand and the extremely fortunate Jonah Hill set about promoting "their" new film by posing with six skimpily clad dolliers at Landan Bridge yesterday.
As Russell has become accustomed to doing, he seized the opportunity to openly declare his undying monogamy with Katy Perry. Firstly, he opened with the mantra: "You hear some women think once you are in a relationship it makes you more attractive. I think I've made it perfectly clear I'm in love with one woman now. There isn't room for anyone else." He then jovially quipped to the line up of arses: "Hands orf or you'll have Katy Perry to deal wiv!" Ooooh, love a duck, chim chiminnay, etc.
Speaking with The Sun, his tune changed ever so slightly to: "I'm really, really in love. At the beginning of a relationship it's exciting and kind of volatile. Now it's like she's a friend, supportive and really lovely, so I'm completely happy with that." Oooh, so you can confirm that the volatility has waned somewhat, eh? She's more like a "friend", you say? You're "happy with that", eh? Could soon turn into your slightly embarrassing sister at any given moment, hmmmm?!
Apologies. Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do today was post a load of pictures of women wilfully objectifying themselves for the purpose of promoting Russell Brand and Jonah Hill, followed by a vain attempt at injecting a bit of interesting news into the Brand's patter. But what is the point. Here is a row of arses, end of.
... although. Maybe Brand was just being saintly cause his ma was in the crowd... Nargh, who am I kidding; Russell Brand could very well be in love with Perry. WHY do I find that so hard to believe... Why indeed.
In other Brand news: He's going to be in The Simpsons: "It's true I'm going to be in The Simpsons. I was having an amazing birthday party and found out I was going into space (thanks to Katy. It involves an actual space ship, not a ride on her cream spirting torpedos). Then my agent says, 'Oh, The Simpsons want you in an episode.' Once you've gone yellow, you've made it. My ideal show would be where I have a cartoon relapse with Barney and Homer and get smashed out of my mind with them."
I'm sure Sacha Baron Cohen's ideal show didn't involve him roaring his head off incoherently as a Holy Land tour guide for 25 minutes, but such is life.
