Gallery: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart at Cannes.

What the FACK Robert Pattinson, how are you STILL going out with Kristen Stewart. Haven't you grown tired of her general awkwardness and punch-warranting facial expressions?

Before I get into all that, I've another bone to pick with you: You don't mind walking the Red Carpet at Cannes where your sap of a girlfriend's On The Road film is premiering and where all the right people will notice you and no doubt offer you a part in a half decent movie - don't worry, you'll never make anything as bad as Bel Ami again, it wouldn't be humanly possible - but when in London for the Snow White and the Huntsman premiere, also starring your moody-faced mot, you sneak in the back door? Either you've become too high and mighty for your hometown fans or you think we still don't know you're a couple. Well we do know and we're over it. (OK maybe it's just me that's not over it.) You used to be cool, Rob. You used to have time for your fans. Ever hear of a song called Jenny from the Block? Give it a listen, you'll be most inspired.

Back to why you shouldn't be with Kristen: Does she even like you? I mean you do the boyfriendly thing by making the trip to Cannes to support her, you don't even get any help jumping off this boat and what do you get for it? She's laughing at you, Pattinson, completely mugging you off. I hear this picture was taken just as she realised she had to go home with you. Look at her here, holding hands with Viggo Mortensen? And here, flirting her hole off while you face the press all on your lonesome. You start out like this, happy, smiling, beckoning your girlfriend for a kiss, then you see her try to flash her knickers at all the boys like this, getting all handsy with her On The Road co stars like this, and alas, you end up on the verge of tears, like this.

You're not a bit happy, Rob, and you KNOW it. *whispers* dump her, duuuuump her.

Caroline Foran

Story by Sheena McGinley | 12:17 | Thursday 24th May 2012 | Gossip

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Comments

• Pandora

  I like Kristen Stewart, and let me tell you why. She's just gone 22, which means she made Twilight when she was 17/18. I highly doubt that anyone involved in the film expected it to become as huge as it did/has. That means for the past four years she has had girls screaming at her, litterally. And as for the 'grown' women *shudders* Rob said on Graham Norton that he would love to lock these people in a basement and go in and scream at them. Twilight is fluff, glittery fluff and I honestly think some day, possibly in the not too distant future, you will hear from her, and Rob, that they think the same, and that all the people who took it waaaaay too seriously need to get a life.

  Posted 02:52 | Fri 25th May 2012

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