Whereas Dina is totally blameless. Yep, it's all Michael's fault. Oh, and Lindsay's, by the sound of things, because she asked her mother to put up with the abuse.
The outspoken matriarch claims her 26-year-old daughter is "so screwed up" because of her tumultuous relationship with her father and admits the hard partying actress regularly was privy to violent domestic abuse as a child - including a rape.
The 50-year-old star said: "Lindsay saw her dad abuse me - that's why she's so screwed up. She saw a lot of crazy stuff. I want the world to know the root of her problems. Lindsay saw all the beatings and all the abuse. She said, 'Stay, mommy, don't leave'."
Dina says the abuse culminated in a horrific rape on the 14th of February 1990 - which allegedly occurred while a young Lindsay was sleeping nearby - and she has gathered medical and police records in order to prove her story after "furious" Lindsay convinced her to speak out.
She told the New York Daily News: "Like many victims of domestic violence and rape, I was embarrassed and afraid. I was very young... I thought I could keep fixing him."
Michael has scoffed at the claim of sexual assault, retaliating: "I went over to her parents' house and made love to her. When I left and she called me, she found out I was with (a girlfriend) and called police. Then she called me the next day, crying. I said, 'Let's work this out.' And I got back with Dina. There were no charges. She's bringing this up now because she's drinking and partying with Lindsay. And she keeps robbing Lindsay. She is the devil."
Dina's decision to speak out has come after she saw a photo of herself with a black eye while carrying Lindsay as a baby in 1986. She insists Michael punched her, resulting in a hospital visit for 'blunt trauma', but he vehemently denies the accusation, insisting he was acting in self-defence after she struck him with an ice cube tray. While medical records prove Dina was examined on both occasions, she says she didn't report Michael at the time as he was about to be jailed for fraud.
Let's face it, you're both beyond pants in the parenting department. For one, stop telling Lindsay she has an excuse to cock up the rest of her life with this constant 'victim' reinforcement. To paraphrase a certain Salandar: She's had the same chances as everyone else. You choose who you want to be.