... and you'd only have to share that front page with yet another "scandalous" horse burger story. While we're on that topic, if you're going to buy burgers that cost approximately 15 cent each, are you really surprised there's unexpected additionals? It's a birrah howarse, not pureed rodent.
Moving on, everyone's going barmy for Harry clone, 15-year-old Jacob Skelton. Personally I think he looks like he's been grown in a petri dish, a bit over exaggerated and suspended in jelly, a bit like Eoghan Quigg off the X Factor a few years back resembled a test tube spawned variation of Jamie Oliver. Or, to put it in simpler terms, if he didn't have the barnet, no one would get it.
However, in the presence of the magic hair hat, everyone is enrapt, including Harry himself. When presented with a picture of Jacob, he told The Sun: "That’s absolutely hilarious. Superb. Good on Jake. I hope he’s having a good laugh." Read into that what you may.
Of his new found fame by association, Jacob said: "It's gone crazy - I’ve had loads of messages and people wanting me to talk on TV. I can’t believe I’m on the front page of The Sun (beside a horse burger). Everyone was calling me Harry at school today." Not only that, he now has almost 10,000 Twitter followers...
If you want to be like Jacob for 15 minutes, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.