The 40th American Music Awards took place in LA last night - and were typically unremarkable - apart from Justin Bieber's Hugh-Hefner-meets-the-Pope themed footwear. Which went down about as well as his crotch-almost-meeting-the-floor trousers (although he might need the extra room for fear of a pants filling moment such as this one featuring Jenny McCarthy). It seemed to be his quest to embody the notion of a hound on its hinds impersonating Pink (who thankfully came in a dress to avoid any confusion). I'll leave you with that one for a while.
Some of the younger members of the attendees (Taylor Swift, Christina Aguilera) continued to look decades older than their years, while those pushing forty (Heidi Klum's exposed body parts and Gwen Stefani) continued to shirk the aging process.
Nicki Minaj came as a river of bile; Ke$ha came as a normal person; Kevin off the Backstreet Boys came looking disorientated; Jay McGuiness looked in need of a scrub, PSY continued to enjoy his 15 minutes just as much as we enjoyed his pants; Ginnifer Goodwin did the usual elfin thing; Elisa Cuthbert, Hayden Panettiere and Carrie Underwood went mad for the sequins; while Carly Rae Jepson still managed to look out of place.
It's OK, Carly, I know you won 'best new artist', but your 'one-hit' wonderdom should soon come to an end.
Here's the complete list of winners for the 2012 American Music Awards:
Artist of the Year: Justin Bieber
Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist: Justin Bieber
Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist: Katy Perry
Favorite Pop/Rock Band/Duo/Group: Maroon 5
Favorite Pop/Rock Album: Believe, Justin Bieber
Favorite Country Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Country Male Artist: Luke Bryan
Favorite Country Band/Duo/Group: Lady Antebellum
Favorite Country Album: Blown Away, Carrie Underwood
Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Artist: Nicki Minaj
Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, Nicki Minaj
Favorite Alternative Rock Music Artist: Linkin Park
Favorite Electronic Dance Music Artist: David Guetta
Favorite Soul/R&B Male Artist: Usher
Favorite Soul/R&B Female Artist: Beyoncé
Favorite Soul/R&B Album: Talk That Talk, Rihanna
Favorite Adult Contemporary Artist: Adele
Favorite Latin Artist: Shakira
Favorite Adult Contemporary Inspirational Artist: tobyMac
New Artist of the Year: Carly Rae Jepsen