The 10th annual Irish Film and Television Awards, that perennial favourite of the Irish quasi-celeb and RTÉ love-in, rolled into and out of town this Saturday just gone and while it wasn't an exactly lively affair, boy oh boy did we get some clangers on the red carpet. And some bangers. We're talking to you Fionnuala Flanagan. More on that in a bit. Here's the rundown.
Yer wan from Six who does that thing with Socky rocked up in a black lace gown, which was all good until you got to the feather dusters on the shoulders. So Dustin the Turkey was in attendance, in part anyway. Ming the Merciless (Jack L) and his tragically unsupported companion made quite the impression. Pretty sure everyone on the other side of the camera was recoiling for that five minutes, while Uncle Gaybo looked like quite the Mafia Don.
Charlie Murphy showed everyone how to do red carpet without dropping a fortune, in a navy Fran & Jane dress and simple styling. Plus her other half for the evening obeyed the golden rule of wearing suspenders, going sans belt. Well done to the pair of you. Donal MacIntyre and his plus one meanwhile showed everyone how to do 'Hot Mess' to full effect. In case you were ever wondering. Jennifer Maguire on the other hand pretty much stole the show in a bombshell of a red lace dress. Chris de Burgh was probably drooling. Same can be said for Lucy Kennedy that bombshell dress that is, we don't know if she was drooling or not).
Speaking of de Burghs, Rosanna Davison's velvet atrocity needs to crawl back into whatever cave it came from. And major props to Amy Huberman, looking ultra glam just over 12 hours before popping out baby Sadie. Not a bother on her.
And while we're massive fans of Jean Byrne, this tiered black abomination is just dire. She could have given some that excess fabric to Sam Keeley, who was in serious need of a tie. Meanwhile, Síle Seoige was ever the emerald queen, if a little too ruched, and Kathryn Thomas did very and channeled old Hollywood glamour in a collared black delight. Sonya Lennon and Brendan Courtney looked great clothes-wise, but that hair Sonya? Little orphan Annie is not a red carpet look we want to subscribe to.
Aoibhin Garrihy's best decision of the night was to stand next to Aoibheann McCaul, because no one can look bad standing next to that hot mess, even if you are wearing a leather topped studded mishap. The 80s are over for a reason Aoibheann. Leave it in the past. Same is said for you and your crimping Saoirse. And everything else you're wearing. Those shoes need to be burned immediately.
Robert Sheehan's hot pink shirt is nauseating, but at least he showed some expression, where as Bressie looked like someone just ran over his dog. But can we all say BONJOUR to Francois Civil. And also Jack Reynor, who is officially off the market thanks to Madeline Mulqueen.
And finally we have the heavily accentuated cleavage section of the red carpet, which is mostly a fight between Elaine Crowley and Fionnuala Flanagan, although Michelle Keegan made a valiant effort. Because when you see someone's boobs before their face, it's a bit of an issue. Although Fionnuala, for 71, looks pretty amazing, so fair play. Thanks for the mammaries ladies.