The band who defied physics by flying without wings and raised us up for over fourteen years decided to call it a day this year. Arguably the greatest act at producing stools on stage, Westlife announced their retirement as a four-piece back on October 19th (a date sure to be tattooed on the forehead of many a Westlifer) but assured fans that a Greatest Hits album would be due for release at the end of 2011 (Christmas ca-chiiiiiing) and a farewell (retirement fund) tour in Spring 2012. One captured glimpse into my crystal ball reveals a reunion tour sometime off in... ooh it's hard to see… sooo misty…erm, I'm getting a Louie?…oh hold on it could be a Simon.
Prior to that earthquaking cracker of a split was the news that Brian McFadden and Delta Goodremhad officially split. Oh, Brian who must have hoped for a Robbie style reunion but instead got himself arrested for drunken disorderly aboard an airplane that was flying with wings.
Other yawn-inducing divisions came in the form of Sienna Miller and Jude Law, Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton, and Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake (although they did get back together again), while Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzeneggerpacked it in after it was revealed he didn't zip it up.
And finally, in the most ground breaking earth shattering split of 2011, the human tortoise Hugh Heffner was shocked after his Playmate partner Crystal Harrisbroke off their engagement. In a year when he had to dismiss rum ours of his demise on twitter, the Playboy kingpin will have to ensure against any further runaway brides by investing in a mobility scooter.
