The Ordinary Boys - How To Get Everything You Ever Wanted In Ten Easy Steps

 rated 1

Review Date: 06 December 2006

Samuel Preston has come a long way since the fresh-faced dilettante - hell-bent on denouncing the vacuous world of celebrity and popular culture - exploded onto the airwaves in 2004. Since then, the man determined to put his stamp on the music world by airing his many grievances with it has himself, morphed into a celebrity clone; dolly-bird wife on his arm, a sales-boosting stint on a reality TV show realised and a hell of a lot more money in his bank account than he started out with. Preston, Preston, what has happened? I mean, let's face it - The Ordinary Boys weren't very extraordinary to begin with. Aside from a few gloriously hummable tracks - 'Seaside' and 'Talk Talk Talk' from their debut - their output has been mostly forgettable. Still, there was hope that the lad who modelled himself on Morrissey would grow and prosper as he went along; but don't expect anything miraculous from the ostentatiously-titled How To Get Everything You Ever Wanted In Ten Easy Steps. Besides contending with Fiona Apple and Devendra Banhart for most-unnecessarily-long-album-title-ever, it's an exercise in trite, contrived and stylised indie-pop, written largely for Preston's new fan club and is as dismissive of the 'Over the Counter Culture' lifestyle as could possible be. Single Lonely At the Top is a drab, slickly-produced and effects-heavy slab of nothingness; The Higher the Highs borrows a skuzzy flamenco shuffle to no effect whatsoever, Who's That Boy affects a dated, Madness-style reggae-pop groove and The Great Big Rip-Off is simply McFly with trumpets. 90% of tracks here are just plain awful - rhyming dictionary lyrics (I Luv U), contrived melodies (Thank You and Goodnight - or Spandau Ballet's 'True' as you might know it), and been-done-before-and-been-done-better genre crossover efforts. It's only on the sleek, attitude-stuffed Nine2Five that the quartet impress - a funky, sassy and sharp collaboration with Stateside-favoured chav Lady Sovereign (Lily Allen with PMT).Apart from that, everything here is unessential; AND, to add insult to injury, they've even tacked on their one hit from their last album - Boys Will Be Boys - as a 'bonus track'. 'How We Made Loadsa Money in the Easiest Way Possible' would have resounded a lot more truthfully.

Review by: Lauren Murphy

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