You'll probably have heard it all before: parables of domestic discordance, sob stories of loveless relationships and cautionary tales of predatory males - but you won't have heard it quite like The Long Blondes tell it. The Sheffield quintet - two parts male, three parts female - have invented yet another new sub-genre of rollicking indie rock 'n' roll, 'kitchen sink glam'; and boy, do they know how to work it. Formed in 2003, the sundry troupe's output was originally released on tiny local labels Thee SPC and Angular Records. When all initial limited releases sold out, they were snapped up by Rough Trade, and the fruits of their labour is a collection of twelve songs that positively demand you to sit up, listen, and most importantly, dance like an alcoholic aunt at a funeral. With all tracks bar two written by guitarist Dorian Cox, Someone To Drive You Home is accordingly titillating and toxic; Cox's ability to gender-hop and unearth grime beneath manicured fingernails displays an excellent talent for songwriting (see epitome of the perfect three-minute pop song, Once and Never Again for proof).This - alongside with Kate Jackson's sexy quiver of a voice - renders the duo nigh unstoppable, swapping gloom for glam and back again without the batting of a mascara-smothered eyelash. Most tracks caper between flirtatious 60s pop with deliciously villainous twists (Weekend Without Makeup) and the sort of new-wave jangle that Blondie would count themselves lucky to record (Only Lovers Left Alive) - but occasionally Jackson throws in a Polly Harvey-esque screech along a line like 'In a pub at the bar with the old men I am / Alone with a pint of bitter in my hand / For a girl, this is not an acceptable plan'. There are far too many lyrical gems here to expose, not to mention the dark musical drama that unfolds around each one. With so many stories to tell, each track becomes a fable of modern-day living - not unlike the material that their compatriots Pulp, Human League and Arctic Monkeys have despatched before them. Eyeliner-smudgingly good.