06 November 2009 (Premiership Preview)

It would appear the Aran Man situation is more serious than previously thought. As in, it's kind of serious, but not that serious as he still managed to wing a message to us.

This morning, we opened up the office to find a nattily dressed pigeon (see Homosapigeon from week 5) fornicating with the feather duster in the corner of the kitchen. Clearly ruffled, he flung the contents of his sack at the editor's computer and made haste out the window. Gingerly dismantling his package, we found some football predictions, along with three pictures.

To be honest, we find Aran Man's perambulations prior to the predictions more useful… last week we sped down to the bookies with the contents of the entertainment.ie kitty. Needless to say, we've been trying to function without milk/sugar and have been re-using the same three teabags all week: he got the grand total of three predictions correct. He did, however, foretell one perfect score - which meant we could purchase one toilet roll between us.

We'll come across with the predictions in a jiffy. Let's just take a moment to decipher the pictures. If we know Aran Man (and we do, intimately), here's what he's trying to impart:

He's been abducted by Fantastic Mr. Fox's embittered Irish cousin. No news there, we knew that last week.

We can also assume he's being forced to watch homemade videos of Mr Fox engaging with a blow up doll, or worse - repeated viewings of Transformers II.



To stop his brain from burrowing into his ear, he's busying himself with making a homemade flying device from some office furniture strewn around the den he's been stuck in for over a week. As to whether the device works? It's anyone's guess.

Tune in next week to (hopefully) find out more.

 

ARAN MAN'S PREDICTIONS LAST WEEK
Bolton v Chelsea (1 - 1)
Burnley v Hull City (1 - 2)
Everton v Aston Villa (1 - 2)
Fulham v Liverpool (3 - 1)
Portsmouth v Wigan Athletic (0 - 2)
Stoke City v Wolves (1 - 1)
Sunderland v West Ham Utd (2 - 1)
Man Utd v Blackburn (3 - 1)
Birmingham v Manchester City (1 - 3)
Arsenal v Tottenham (2 - 2)

ACTUAL RESULTS
Bolton v Chelsea (0-4)
Burnley v Hull (2-0)
Everton v Aston Villa (1-1)
Fulham v Liverpool (3-1)
Portsmouth v Wigan (4-0)
Stoke v Wolves (2-2)
Sunderland West Ham (2-2)
Manchester Utd v Blackburn (2-0)
Arsenal v Tottenham (3-0)

ARAN MAN'S PREDICTIONS THIS WEEK
Aston Villa v Bolton 15:00 (2 - 1)
Blackburn v Portsmouth 15:00 (2 - 0)
Manchester City v Burnley 15:00 (2 - 0)
Tottenham v Sunderland 15:00 (2 - 1)
Wolves v Arsenal 17:30 (3 - 0)

Sun 8th November 2009
Hull City v Stoke City 13:30 (0 - 0)
West Ham Utd v Everton 15:00 (1 - 1)
Wigan v Fulham 15:00 (2 - 1)
Chelsea v Man Utd 16:00 (2 - 2)


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