01 September 2010 (Movie Profile)

Words: Mark 'Lenny' Linehan

IF you have been watching any of the episodes of Ultimate Big Brother, then you have already been exposed to the full horror that was racing pundit John McCririck waddling along in overstretched transparent underpants.

As the elder to reality TV lurches like a wounded animal to it's final conclusion, it seems appropriate that the film-maker behind the most talked about schlock fest of the year cut his teeth working on the original Dutch version of the show. The writer, director and producer Tom Six started off on the birth of Big Brother, and it seems appropriate that his latest film, The Human Centipede (First Sequence), features a scenario that I personally would love to see executed on any number of previous and current BB contestants.

The plot involves a mad German scientist (ah, mad scientists, where would we be without them) who has a dream. That dream involves surgically attaching three kidnapped tourists mouth to ass to form the film's premise "the human centipede." Why he didn't just call up Tony Blair, who was until recently surgically attached to the posterior of George W. Bush, to audition for a role I don't know. Six came up with the concept while watching TV, "One time I was watching television with friends and there was a really nasty child molester on," he says. "From out of nowhere I made a sick joke. I said, 'They should stitch his mouth to the asshole of a very fat truck-driver as a punishment.' After that, the idea kept coming into my head."

And with that eureka moment, the eventual film has predictably caused a major stir. "Those of a nervous disposition need to stay away," warned Peter Bradshaw at The Guardian. Entertainment Weekly exclaimed, "this is the most disgusting horror film of all time." The New York Times questioned whether the film was "a commentary on Nazi atrocities or a literal expression of filmmaking politics, the grotesque fusion at least silences the female leads, both of whose voices could strip paint." Writing in the Chicago Sun Times, Roger Ebert did not assign the film a star rating, "I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine." Indeed.

"I don't like to make films that make you think 'What's for dinner?' when you've seen them," Six says. "My film lingers in your head. People get nightmares about it." He believes that the key to pulling off this trick is credibility. Six revealed that during the casting process, a lot of actresses walked out of readings with disgust upon hearing the full nature of the role. The special effects team designed the final composition of the centipede from sketches provided by Six's friend, a surgeon who wanted to remain anonymous. They designed hardened underwear for the actors to wear with a rubber grip for the actor behind to bite onto, which created the illusion of the mouth-to-anus connection.

"An operation is one of the scariest things there is," he continues. "Your body is you, and somebody is cutting into your flesh. That idea is so disturbing." Defecation is something else that Six feels cinema has underplayed. "I would love to see James Bond go to the bathroom, but people are afraid of it," he says. "You cannot think of something more disgusting than faeces."

He is currently working on a sequel.

The bad news is that it looks like it won't be getting a cinema release in Ireland, although the DVD will be available in October.

The good news is that a pornographic parody of the film, entitled The Human Sexipede, will be released later this year. They don't miss a trick.

And just incase you did miss that John McCririck pants moment. Look away now. Or scroll down if you dare...(cue foreboding music).....

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Mark 'Lenny' Linehan
Check out Mark, AKA 'Lenny the Movie Man' on TodayFM. Every Thursday night on KC's show 10-12midnight.

 

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