Three and Out

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Paul (Crook) is a depressed London tube driver who finds out through two work colleagues that if he hits three people in a month, he'll be paid off by his employers with ten years' salary - leaving him to concentrate on the great novel he plans, but can't quite start writing. Having already accidently hit two people and with time running out, he sets out to find someone willing to off themselves under his train, and stumbles upon the suicidal Tommy (Meaney), a down-on-his-luck Irishman estranged from his family. There are very few people out there who can utter profanities quite like Colm Meaney. Having always struck me as an Irish version of Dennis Farina, his spewing of any expletive rarely fails to raise a chuckle. Sadly, said chuckles are some of the few plusses in this uneven Brit-flick. With the exception of Kerry Katona popping up (playing what appears to be a watered-down version of herself) with a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo, there is not a lot here that you haven't seen before. Sure, the premise is interesting enough - but the filmmakers can't decide if they want it to be a slapstick comedy or a serious pondering on family and regret, and the results yield a predictably erratic tone. While Crook does his best in the lead role, there's isn't much else for him to do, other than saunter from one scene to another with a constant look of whimpering bemusement. Things do pick up with the introduction of a promising Arterton and Imelda Staunton (doing a stellar Irish accent) as Tommy's family, but it serves merely as a hint of what might have been, had the director had a clearer picture from the start of what his film was about. Playing like a cross between Dead Man's Curve and Throw Momma From the Train, Three and Out amuses sporadically with some nice turns from Meaney, Arterton and Staunton - but ultimately, struggles to warrant your nine quid.