Star Wars: The Clone Wars

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Just to get the timeline right, The Clone Wars (an adaptation of the TV series) is set during Attack Of The Clones: before Anakin (Lanter) begins to succumb to the dark side but after the discovery of the Clone army. Right, now that that's settled: Jabba The Hutt's son has been kidnapped and it's up to the Jedi to rescue him and ease frosty relations with the clan, as the Hutts control shipping routes important to the Republic. However, Count Dooku (Lee), along with new Sith Asaji Ventress (Nika Futterman), plan to kill Jabba's son and frame the Jedi so the Hutts join the separatist cause. As an animated sci-fi adventure fantasy The Clone Wars isn't bad, but as a Star Wars movie it's crap. The entire flick is an extended battle sequence, which might appeal to the younger fan who reckons The Phantom Menace isn't all tosh, but for the rest of us it's like watching your mate play the Xbox - and he won't give you a go because he just got it for his birthday. The biggest problem, however, is that before even popcorn is bought the viewer knows that everyone - including the bad guys - will survive; they have to because they're all in Attack Of The Clones. Those in danger of dying will be either the annoying 'roger-roger' droids, clones or a new character - Ashoka Tano (Eckstein), Anakin's Padewan - dreamed up to sell more figurines and get fanboys in a dizzy because she holds her lightsaber in a cool way. Disappointing, but then it was always going to be, wasn't it?