Killers

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An action, comedy romance, with crap action, zero laughs and even less chemistry between the two leads, Killers is a $75 million moving postcard. Shamelessly attempting to (at least partly) rip-off Mr and Mrs Smith, it's obvious that producer/star Ashton Kutcher wants to look really cool, and maybe bag an action franchise for himself. But instead of slick, he just resembles a smug former model, channelling movie stars further up the Hollywood hierarchy. Heigl comes off moderately better, but that's probably because she's not as far outside of her comfort zone.

Heigl plays a young woman vacationing with her parents in Nice, after her boyfriend dumps her. Soon after arriving, she meets Kutcher's topless hitman in a lift, with a romance blossoming quicker than you can say 'obligatory lingering torso shot'. But she doesn't know he clips people for a living, and is in the South of France for just that reason. Alas, Kutcher is done with the beautiful women, glamorous locations and snapping necks, and wants to settle down with a nice normal girl, so marries Heigl and lives in bliss for three years in suburbia. But just when he thinks he's out "they" pull him... Ah, you get the gist.

Hitman movies are a dime a dozen nowadays, so originality in concept is rare, and hardly a requirement. It's the execution, tone and protagonist that really make the film worth seeing or not. In Grosse Point Blank, John Cusack played a slightly narcissistic assassin, with neurosis and regret aplenty; but the tone was fun, and the execution polished. Here, Kutcher's comedic sensibilities find themselves conflicted with the inconsistent tone, and lack of anything remotely fun. He can be funny, even charming when he wants to be; but he's pushing a film here with shiny packaging and nothing else.

Heigl is generally worth watching in whatever rom-com she pops her pretty mush into. She knows the genre inside out, has had a bunch of hits; but since Knocked Up the talented actress has been more-or-less playing the same character in the same type of production. The only thing differentiating this from 27 Dresses is a couple of mediocre shoot-outs - granted, something that would've livened up that movie considerably. Even on the most rudimentary level of just dumb fun Killers fails. The execution is strangely vanilla, with a supporting role for Tom Selleck nonsensical and ridiculous.

Derivative and flat, it's not worth wasting your time on.