John Tucker Must Die

She's All That has a lot to answer for, and John Tucker Must Die sits firmly atop that particular dung heap - right next to every other trite, unoriginal piece of 'high school comedy' that has been churned out through the cinematic anus of most major Hollywood studios since. Needless to say, the characters here are your basic, cliched, stereotypical Middle American teenagers; the slut (Bush) who is also a devout Greenpeace fanatic (think a promiscuous female version of Captain Planet); the obligatory black chick (played by yep, you guessed it, an r'n'b star), and finally, the brainy, ambitious hot broad. What these girls have in common - apart from John Tucker - is that they are all too lost up their own asses to realise that JT (who's blatantly in his late twenties, by the way) is dating them all at the same time, and feeding each of them the same tried and tested lines. Everything is hunky dory until the inexplicably unpopular Kate (Snow) waxes lyrical to the group after seeing him woo all the girls at the restaurant she works in. All that's missing here is the mandatory bet with the friends over who'll get humped come prom night, which, admittedly, it doesn't have - a point the producers obviously thought would make this somewhat original. While not a complete disaster - it does contain some sparse moments of mild amusement, and the game cast do their best with an abhorrent script - this was never going to appeal to anyone other than younger teenage girls, or those whose who just fancied a perv at Metcalfe. If you're looking for a fun high school comedy, rent The Girl Next Door; if you're merely looking to see Jesse Metcalfe in a thong, you've just hit pay dirt.