G.I. Joe: Rise Of The Cobra

Watch Trailer

It seems since Matt Damon handed half of mainland Europe its ass in the Bourne films, there's a certain criteria to making an action flick; shaky cameras, pensive leading man, and a lot of hand-to-hand combat, apparently, equals a franchise. The Mummy director Stephen Sommers has made a film here that pretty much spits in the face of those uber-serious, character driven action efforts. He's making a movie for teenage boys, and if the almost cartoony action doesn't prove that, Sienna Miller in a skintight leather catsuit will. This is inherently ridiculous on so many levels, and despite sometimes being fun, ultimately has too much going on to really engage anyone other than the hormonal teens, hungry for explosions and tightly encased rear ends.

G.I. Joe is basically a team of elite Special Forces from around the globe, who are assembled to rid the world of terrorist threats, and general evil sorts who like to blow things up. When Channing Tatum's Duke and his team are attacked whilst transporting a dangerous weapon of mass destruction, Dennis Quaid's General Hawk enlists them to join Joe. But a mysterious group called Cobra are intent on gaining the weapon so they can destroy cities and partake in the usual quest for world domination. Duke has history with Cobra's main henchwoman, and General Hawk sees it as crucial to gaining more knowledge on their increasingly powerful enemy.

After an entertaining opening twenty minutes or so, G.I. Joe soon desends into the type of carnage you'd expect from a film originated from an action figure, and directed by the helmer of Van Hesling. But Sommers actually strings together a couple of very nice action sequences - the opening stands out, in particular. The problems here stem from that old franchise-starter chestnut, too many characters to be introduced in too short time. Whereas Iron Man zoned in on the charismatic Tony Stark for instance, Joe can only really spend a fleeting amount of time with each member of its young ensemble cast.

Tatum employs a subtly masculinity, and has 'movie star' written all over him, but this isn't the film to really launch him. It's too ostentatious in execution to compliment an actor of his sort; ironically, he'd make a great Jason Bourne if Matt Damon ever decides to hang up the ass-kicking boots. Miller is appealing, if only aesthetically, while Wayans isn't as funny when censoring himself.

Still, this is loud and slick enough to thoroughly amuse the undemanding, as Sommers throws every action trick in the book at the screen for the majority of the running time. Self aware, fun garbage - but garbage nonetheless.