Disaster Movie

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Oh, where to start. Disaster Movie doesn't so much annoy, as grate to point of spontaneous combustion. You might argue that that is somewhat of a harsh, hyperbolic statement - but in all honesty, I really believe that this mess is easily one of the worst pieces of shite ever to be committed to celluloid. Instead of parodying the so called "disaster movies", they merely have characters from whatever film has been popular in the last eight or nine months turn up, say something devastatingly unfunny, and then vanish. It really does feel like it was written and directed by a couple of over-excited 11-year-old boys, who forgot to take their Ritalin. They throw so much crap (literally, on some occasions) at you in the hope of a chuckle that the nonsensical plot never leaves any room for a "joke" to breathe. It's obvious that the filmmakers (and good God, do I use that term loosely) haven't seen the majority of films they're supposed to parodying, and instead have cut together "gags" from the trailers alone. For some truly inexplicable reason, characters from Juno and Superbad turn up, and are mimicked shoddily by actors who look nothing like them, instead resembling a drunken pub impression at best. Juno soon becomes a central character, and is possibly the most annoying thing I've ever had the displeasure to watch (and no, despite what they may claim, that wasn't the point). If you think that doesn't make sense in a film called Disaster Movie, then you're in for a clusterf**k of a mind-melt sitting through this. It's not even bad in the way that the later Scary Movie films were bad; there's actually some mean-spirited gags in here that feel out of place with the generally jolly spirit that these types of productions normally embody. Jokes are sodomised to bleeding point, the acting is atrocious and nothing is funny. If you pay to see this you're encouraging these morons to keep making movies, and I can only hope that a family member or friend intervenes and brings you to your senses. Epically appalling, it's only getting half a star because our system won't allow me to give it a zero rating.