A Turtle's Tale: Sammy's Adventures

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I'm always weary of films that are aimed completely towards those who can be distracted for hour by a particularly large set of keys, and A Turtle's Tale proves that the keys would probably be a better option. Made solely for toddlers, this cheap looking, insipid production plods along at an excruciating pace, whilst preaching to its audience without even attempting to entertain them. Why would you pay, not only a normal ticket price, but also the bump up for 3D to see a cartoon that has a similar quality to a mid-morning programme on a shoddy kiddie cable network?

Sammy is a turtle who had a difficult start in life. Struggling to keep up with those who hatched around him, he was then abducted by bird and almost killed. Finding himself alone on an ocean current, he luckily meets fellow traveller Ray and the two begin an adventure together. But when Ray and Sammy get separated, Sammy must embark on his journey alone, whilst looking for the love of his life, 'Shel'.

There are points in this poor animated farce when characters mouths move completely out of sync with the actors' voicing. It feels like it was conceived and executed in a different language, and not produced in English - which it apparently was. It could be the awkward human characters that move like a hastily assembled CGI advertisement for a local used car lot, but either way it's an insult to anyone that pays to see it.

I get that this isn't aimed at me, or anyone else who has the ability to defecate solo, but there needs to be some sort of effort put in to entice an family to the multiplex other than "the kids are bored, let's go the cinema." That's where this film's core audience will come from, and frankly they'd be best off planting the kids in front of Barney or some hyper teletubbies for an hour and a half.

An awful, charmless and painful rip-off of Finding Nemo. Avoid.