11 April 2012 (Comedy Diary)

Rant by: Aidan Bishop

Beware hipsters - here resident host at the International Comedy Club, Aidan Bishop, shares his bemusement with the latest male fashion fad. Are skinny jeans really emasculating men?

My Ranty Pants happens to to be about pants or should I say 'skinny jeans'.

I don't know why they call them skinny jeans when half the men who wear them aren't skinny. The jeans are designed so you don't have to pull them up all the way. So basically, you can buy a 32 inch waist when really you have a pretty hefty 40 inch waist. It's not sexy for your flab to spill out over the side of your jeans. Not one bit sexy. I don't see how women can find this attractive. Maybe I'm wrong but don't women like a man with a nice ass? It seems that the flatter your ass is the easier fitting the jeans are. So what'll it be ladies, a nice ass in more suitable attire or a follower of fashion with nothing to hold on to?

The younger folk of the MySpace generation have certainly taken to fashion fad. And you can tell a lot about them from this. First of all, they aren't exercising enough. They lack muscle development from being indoors too much. I can't wear skinny jeans because my legs are too muscular and it looks funny. Sorry, I'm just too fit! Sport and fitness have always been a part of my life. As much as I like Facebook, I still at 32 years old am part of many sporting clubs. I like to get out and do things. Keeping in shape and nature is a big part of my manhood. I grew up in a time when masculinity was more associated with being strong. Now it seems like the weaker you are the cooler you look. People who wear skinny jeans are either over weight or super thin. Maybe they burn calories spending a lot of time trying to look cool. And another thing - why is it that in order to wear skinny jeans you also have to wear really nerdy glasses? Why are super thick black nerdy glasses in style? I said it once and I'll say it again: I just don't get it!

Maybe I am out of touch with the changing times. Maybe it's normal now for a man to wear his girlfriend's jeans or for him not to be strong enough to beat her in arm wrestling. Maybe I'm out of the loop. All I know is that skinny jeans make me worry about the future of my fellow man. I might be on my own here but for some reason I can't help think about all the sperm who have died scrunched up in the tight pants of a young man. So, I plead with the MySpace generation: stop wearing skinny jeans!

Do it for the little ones! 

If you like what you read here be sure to check out Aidan at the Workman's Club at 8pm on Friday April 13th

Do Dyslexics make the best comedians? Misspelled is an honest, meaningful, but still hilarious hour of comedy which tackles Aidan's discovery that he has lived the majority of his life as an undiagnosed dyslexic, how that has changed his life and how it has given him an all new perspective on his childhood.

 

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